ADC.06

6. Unsettled

'It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change' - Charles Darwin

Joel had made an enemy in Harris. Instead of being appreciative that Joel never informed on him, Harris saw it as a sign he could do pretty much what he wanted. One day at school and already Joel was wishing he was home. Whoever described school-days as 'the happiest days of your lives' obviously never went to Forester Grammar.

One thing Forester Grammar didn't have was racism. The school was multi-cultural, which in 1981 was still quite rare in the area. Boarders came from such places as Swaziland, Singapore, Malta, and Brazil, to name but a few. They were mainly sons of ex-patriots who were abroad working. Many had taken wives in the countries of their work and their spoilt offspring were sent back to the mother country for a 'decent' education.

In the main, they were to Joel obnoxious brats, who seemed to enjoy the discomfort of others. It was to differing levels depending on the boy, Harris was off the scale. Joel didn't understand these boys may have abandonment issues just as he had when packed off to his grandmother. It had started a bout of bed-wetting for Joel, what must it be doing to these boys whose parents were in another country.

As with any group of people it is foolish to generalise. They weren't all brats, some had true hearts, but still they had issues. One such boy was 'Herman' Proctor. His name wasn't Herman he was just given that tag because he was born in Germany and the names rhymed. Herman would roll his eyes and mutter 'puerile' whenever some boy thought it funny to say 'Herman the German' out loud. He was the only boy other than Collins who had to retake his first year. There must have been something going on with Herman because he certainly didn't strike Joel as being stupid. His English was perfect but the accent was a little strange. Herman was quieter than most of the other boys which Joel put down to his being a year older and ergo more mature.

Largely ostracised by his former classmates because of his prolonged 'prole' status, Herman still had a number of friends in the second year and what's more, he wasn't afraid of Harris and his cronies. Joel was happy he had the bed next to him in the dormitory. Herman noticed Joel looking at him and nodded in acknowledgement.
"Something on your mind?" Herman asked.
"Are you really German?" Joel blurted out suddenly conscious he had been staring.

Herman went and sat on Joel's bed.
"It was awfully brave what you did" Herman said ignoring the question.
"Standing up to Harris?" Joel asked a little puzzled.
"No you clod, I meant it was brave not to inform on him"
"Or stupid" Joel said with a grin.
"No, stupid was standing up to him" Herman countered and Joel looked round sharply.

It wasn't what he wanted to hear but then he saw how hard Herman was trying to keep a straight face.
"You...." Joel began and Herman could hold back no longer.

Joel poked the laughing boy in the ribs and they rolled around the bed grappling. Herman was considerably bigger than Joel and consequently underestimated the strength of the boy from the village. Joel pinned Herman to the bed with relative ease.
"Look Phillips wants to kiss Herman!" a boy shouted.

It embarrassed Joel who was yet to understand these new boys. He always rough and tumbled with friends at home, everybody did. Herman just gave the boy a withered look and he turned away sheepishly.
"You think you're pretty tough don't you?" Herman asked curiously.
"No" Joel lied.

From the boys he had seen in his own year so far, Joel did think he was tough by comparison. These kids didn't seem very robust at all. Seeing a couple reduced to tears by the initiations was strange for Joel and the fuss his impromptu caning caused surpised the boy. It was rare to see any but the smallest kids in the village cry. Harris didn't worry Joel at all. He fancied his chances in a one on one.
"You would do best to keep away from Harris" Herman warned.
"I'm not scared of Harris, I could beat him" Joel snorted.
"Maybe you could but Harris likes to make sure the odds are in his favour"

* * * * *

That night after lights out, Joel was just starting to doze when three shadowy figures grabbed him roughly. He immediately recognised one of them as Harris. The other two boys turned Joel over pinning him to the bed, his face was pushed hard into the pillow so he couldn't make a noise. Joel struggled hard but the two older boys pinned him easily and his protests were muffled by the pillow. Just as Joel expected the worst, the two boys holding him released their grip. Herman had seen what was going on and sneaked over to Joel's bed. He hit Harris hard, high on the cheekbone, and the bully went down. Joel didn't see what had happened, but with the release of one arm, he lashed out as hard as he could. Tyrell went to the floor clutching his groin and moaning in pain.

The third assailant froze like a rabbit in headlights and looked like he wanted to run. The only light in the dormitory was moonlight through the thin curtains but there were enough windows to be able to make out what was going on. Harris rose and swore at Herman.

The lights came on. Dixon was stood by the light switch:
"Profanity Harris! Headmaster's study tomorrow after breakfast. Stone and Tyrell, verbal warnings. Get back to your rooms. Now!" he ordered.

The three second years moved quickly, not wanting to incur the further wrath of the Shep, Tyrell and Stone happy Harris had been singled out. Minor infractions – like being out of bed after lights out – were dealt with by a three strikes system. First offence was a verbal warning, second was a written warning (only the writing was two pages and done by the miscreant), and then it was a trip to the Headmaster's study.

Joel's had been saved a beating but it was another mark against him as far as Harris was concerned. The boys all settled down again but Joel could hear a few whispers in spite of the way the beds were situated. It irritated Joel who imagined most had seen Harris and the others grab him, yet feigned sleep rather than get involved. If everybody had told the three bullies to stop they would have had no choice. Joel was thankful Herman wasn't so spineless.

Some alliances had already begun to form and Kramer came to see Joel the next morning. He had been friendly the previous day at the assault course and Joel welcomed his attention. Kramer with his natural charm had begun encouraging selected boys into forming a gang of sorts. He had already recruited several including Carrots. Kramer may have been small but he was a natural leader.

Kramer just generally chatted to Joel, some hinting at what he was doing was completely overlooked at the time though made perfect sense soon after. In Joel's naivety he hadn't realised boys his age could be so calculating in a malevolent way. The village boys were more up front and straight-talking. They couldn't even spell subterfuge. Kramer knew exactly what he was doing but Joel was oblivious to the surreptitious recruitment method. When he didn't make the right noises Kramer went away.

Reasons for Joel being isolated from his peers were adding up. He was working class, spoke differently, wore inferior clothing, and was to all intents and purposes a loose cannon. In addition Joel had antagonised the worst bully. Boys weren't exactly queuing up to be Joel's friend, perhaps he should have been more receptive with Kramer.

Breakfast was as it usually was, swift and without incident. There was never a failure to clear a plate at breakfast. The boys were filtering out of the dining hall when Joel saw Harris being led away by Dixon to the Headmaster's study.
"Hope the ass gets ten like he gave me!" Joel shouted so they could hear.

Dixon looked back and winked. Joel was yet to find out how hard the Headmaster hit; in retrospect it was foolish hoping it was very hard.

* * * * *

In the main kids are resilient and adaptable but there are just some situations impossible to adjust to. A sudden wrench from the familiar can be traumatic and difficult to adjust to. It felt very much like Joel had been dumped in a foreign country with no knowledge of the language. Time should eventually enable settling in but co-operation of locals is necessary. What chance is there to learn a new language if nobody will speak to you. It wasn't that they all hated Joel, just that being his friend would bring them under scrutiny. Thankfully Herman didn't seem to care what others thought.

On Sunday mornings, the boys had to go to chapel, unless their religion was other than Church of England. Joel being Catholic could have been excused but he was glad he never said anything. The chapel was in town and it was good to get out of the school grounds. It was also a chance to sneak away for an hour. Those that didn't go to chapel had to sit in the school library until the service was over.

Joel saw Harris and although the bully didn't say anything, he was looking daggers. Joel hoped his bum was sore. The small scab on Joel's own buttocks came off as he sat in chapel and he could feel the wound seeping, making a sticky patch in his underpants. Joel foolishly went to see matron on returning to school. He was expecting to have some more cream applied but matron took out a bottle of liquid instead. Joel lay face down on the table with his buttocks exposed.
"This may sting a little" matron warned.
"Yikes!!" Joel howled, it was more than a little.

Joel gritted his teeth and grimaced as more of the liquid was applied. It reminded him of the anti-septic liquid his mother used. Matron let the wounded area dry out for a few minutes before applying a dressing.
"You are very brave" she said and Joel almost told the kindly lady he was quite used to it by now, but thought better of it.

After seeing matron, it was just about time for lunch and Joel headed to the dining hall instead of back to the boarding house. Harris and his cronies had heard Joel tell Herman he was going to see matron and were laying in wait. As he rounded the corner to the quad Tyrell and Stone took hold of Joel's arms. Harris grabbed his lapels almost lifting him off the ground.
"I took six strokes because of you prole" Harris hissed.
"Hope it hurt, you ass!" Joel snarled with more bravery than he felt.

Joel was hit hard in the stomach and doubled over with a groan. Harris grabbed his hair and pulled his head back roughly.
"In a week, everybody will have forgotten about your rear, but I will never forget your impertinence" Harris said menacingly.

A deep anger was building up inside Joel and he wanted to lash out but knew it would have been folly. Herman helped Joel once but it was no guarantee he would help again. Piper was friendly enough but didn't seem the type to fight. Joel was all alone. He wanted to fight Harris but knew Tyrell and Stone would join in. On his knees Joel held his stomach grimacing as the bullies went away laughing. Herman sat next to Joel at lunch.
"I'm going to town this afternoon" he whispered.
"I'll go with you if you want" Joel whispered back almost inaudibly.
"SILENCE!" bellowed a prefect who heard the whispering, there was no talking at meals.

* * * * *

Sunday afternoon was the only opportunity for the boys to get out of the school grounds for any amount of time. They were allowed in town between lunch and dinner. Joel was excited. All he had seen of the town was when carrying his bag from the bus station. Already Joel was itching to get away from the school he had been at less than forty-eight hours. The walk to chapel had lit the fuse now he wanted to explore. It felt so good to be out of the school and away from his peers. For one mad moment Joel considered walking home and pleading with his parents not to be sent back, but realised the futility of such a deed. The marks on his butt were nothing compared to the ones his father's belt would make.

Herman kept pointing at girls and whispering lewd comments. Joel tried to feign interest but wondered why Herman was so obsessed with them. Herman was a year older but Joel couldn't see that as a reason. Although only about thirteen years old, the girls were too old even for Herman, and they just smiled condescendingly. The girls were wearing school uniforms as well. They were from a girls only preparatory school situated on the other side of the town. It catered for girls from five to thirteen years old and in the past some of the girls had been known to rendezvous with Forester boys. They usually went for the older boys though.
"Last year some of us sneaked into their school and went swimming in their pool" Herman confided.
"Isn't that dangerous? I mean for getting caught" Joel asked, curious at the revelation.
"No, the pool is right away from the buildings and we used to sneak out after dinner on Saturdays, as long as we were back before eight o clock it was okay" Herman explained.
"Why didn't you use our pool?" Joel asked puzzled.
"Our pool is covered over this term until after Easter and anyway their pool is smaller and the water is warmer"
"I wouldn't mind going. I missed out on the pool yesterday" Joel hinted.

He wasn't that bothered really, Joel just wanted to try and cement a friendship with Herman. Herman had helped against Harris and was one of the few who didn't judge Joel by his accent and clothes.
"We can have a look next weekend if you like, I'm sure Collins would come with us" Herman suggested.
"Great!" Joel said but was suddenly a little unsure and hoped it would rain or something.

Joel didn't mind Herman but he had little trust in the other boys. The snide remarks had begun and seemed to be gaining impetus. The boys walked around the town and along the river bank, it was heaven. At one point a couple of local boys shouted some abuse. Joel stuck two fingers up to them and they stayed their distance.
"What's their problem?" Joel asked.
"Local oiks, they hate us"

Looking at the departing boys Joel couldn't help thinking he would probably relate better to them than his peers at school. He wondered if he could make friends with some of the local boys, if they hated Forester boys they couldn't be that bad. Time flew and the boys found themselves heading back to school. Once more the gloom began to set in. They just had time to get changed for dinner.

Harris made threatening gestures every time he saw Joel, from a safe distance of course. It was a pain for Joel having always to be aware of ambush. He feared showers the most, expecting to be seized at any time by Harris. After seeing his apparent cowardice against Carrots, Joel knew he wouldn't come alone. Waiting until Herman went to the showers Joel quickly followed. It didn't guarantee safety but Herman's presence might be enough to make the bullies think twice. Joel felt more vulnerable naked.

Harris was on his mind constantly. Tomorrow was the start of the school year proper, maybe Harris would find another victim among the day-boy proles. At the very least the boarder proles were to see how the day-boys were to be initiated with impunity. Joel felt ashamed of his feelings. He hoped another boy would get bullied instead of him? It was easy to see why others turned away when seeing injustice.

Back in the common room, boys were signing up for extra-curricular activities. There were different kinds of things and Joel was leaning towards photography, but Herman said orienteering was far better and a lot of it was out of school grounds. That swung it for Joel. The master taking the names for the activities was dubbed 'Dinosaur' on account of him teaching History (he was also the first and second year rugby coach). The teacher looked up at Joel smiling pleasantly. It would be a long time before Joel saw his face looking so benevolent again. Dinosaur seemed to give Joel a mental appraisal.
"Orienteering please Sir" Joel said as Herman had suggested.

Dinosaur ticked a box against Joel's name and said no more. It was as if Joel had just vanished.
"Photography again this year, Proctor?" Dinosaur said already ticking the box.
"No sir, I want orienteering as well please" Herman said somewhat timidly.

Dinosaur looked back at Joel as if there was a conspiracy afoot. Joel was puzzled because Herman had deliberately steered him towards orienteering when his first thought was photography. Now Joel finds out Herman did photography last year. Dinosaur looked at Herman somewhat sternly.
"You know we could do with you Proctor, and you would have second year status of course" Dinosaur said in a tone which suggested he wouldn't take no for an answer.
"I did so want to do orienteering, sir" Herman said in almost a whine.

When he met Dinosaur's fixed gaze, he buckled and head down, Herman meekly agreed to photography. Joel was angry with Herman. How could he do that. Joel complained bitterly but Herman just shrugged and turned away.
"Just leave me alone" Herman said petulantly and stormed off.

Later Herman apologised to Joel saying he had no choice or Dinosaur would have made his life intolerable. It was all a little confusing. Joel thought it outrageous how Herman could be pressured into taking an activity when he wanted to do something else. It wasn't fair! Rough around the edges they may be but the villagers prided themselves on fair play. There seemed little of it in evidence at Forester so far.

The next morning Herman was still a bit off. Remarkably Joel actually felt quite happy in other respects and was one of the first to the showers. Stuff Harris! Joel wasn't going to live in fear of him. Nothing happened and Joel remained upbeat. The day-boys would be arriving after breakfast and Joel ate heartily. Herman chilled out a bit after breakfast and led Joel to the main gates to watch the influx of day-boy proles. They were so easy to identify from the other day-boys just by their nervous manner. It felt good. Here Joel was, a seasoned pro of all of three days, and already regarding the new boys in a patronising way.

The whole school filled up the main hall and it looked packed compared to when it was just the boarders. In the usual manner the teachers filtered in before the hall fell silent at the Headmaster's arrival. A nod to the music teacher and once again the school rang out to Jerusalem. The whole atmosphere felt surreal to Joel but it gave him a kind of lift, even though he felt out of place.

After assembly the boys went to their classrooms. The first years had two classrooms situated close to the assembly hall and a teacher stood outside each, taking names. Joel was in Dinosaur's class. He would be Joel's form teacher for the year. Dinosaur was all smiles as he greeted the boys, until he saw Joel. He snorted as he indicated Joel was to join the others in his class. Joel was at a loss to see how he had annoyed the teacher but he knew their paths would collide. It wasn't even as though Joel could get away from him. Dinosaur was his Housemaster, History teacher, and the first and second year rugby coach. Joel didn't realise it at the time but Dinosaur was to be just as much his tormentor as Harris.

Whispers went round the school during morning break and it was obvious to the proles they were the objects of interest. They were hanging around in several large groups believing there to be safety in numbers. For now they were safe. There was not enough time for anything to happen during morning break and as patient as vultures, the second years waited for the one hour lunch break. Initiations were different for the day-boy proles. The boarders had no escape but with the day-boys, the thrill was in the chase. Should any be fortunate enough to escape the clutches of the pursuing second years for the duration of the lunch hour, they would be spared the torture.

Initiating the day-boy proles could take on a variety forms. Most common was 'poling'. There were several upright poles throughout the school buildings, any boy captured would be carried horizontal to one. His legs were pulled apart and he was rammed into the pole. This have been dangerous but wasn't as bad as it sounds as the impact was almost always on the butt-bone. It was like getting kicked. Wedgies were extreme and would always result in ripped or ruined underwear, although they had yet to be given that name.

The final method of initiating a prole amused Joel. Faeces face – The prole would be held down by several boys so he was unable to move. A nominated second year would drop his trousers and wipe his bare bum on the prole's face. There was no actual physical harm it was just the humiliation. Although Joel found it funny in the extreme to watch, he doubted it would be so funny being on the receiving end. Joel didn't mind really, it was initiations and they only had to go through them once.

Joel's conscience allowed him to laugh at the faeces faces because it wasn't a case of one boy being singled out, the majority of day-boys had been on the receiving end. The boarder proles watched in mild amusement as day-boy proles ran hither and thither trying to escape the second years.  It was then Joel saw a boy getting poled. Nothing unusual except his tormentors were Harris and friends. This was strictly against the school code because they were boarders. Only day-boys could initiate day-boy proles, just as only boarders initiated boarder proles. Harris just couldn't resist the opportunity to be mean.

He hadn't seen Joel watching him. Harris had an evil look on his face as he took great delight in the suffering of others. Joel disliked Harris in the same way he disliked Jake but realised there was a world of difference between the two. Seeing another prole reduced to tears by Harris being excessive, Joel turned away. He felt he should do something but was powerless to intervene as Harris and his cronies lined up another prole for a poling. His time would come.

The first day in all lessons was generally for introductions and the handing out of books. It was all quite exciting. The unblemished work books with crisp new pages Joel always found pleasing. His differences once more came to the fore when Joel plucked a biro and pencil from his pocket, putting them neatly on his desk beside his new book.
"What the devil are you doing with that? Boy!" the Geography teacher shouted in a booming voice, the 'Boy' sounding as if it should be connected to the first sentence but trailed behind for emphasis.

The teacher marched up to Joel's desk, snatched the offending biro, and snapped it in half. He deposited the two halves in the bin as he strode back to the front of the class. A ripple of giggles from the other boys were stifled in one word.
"SILENCE!" boomed the teacher as Herman handed Joel a spare fountain pen.

Biros, like soccer balls, were banned from Forester school. The boys had to write in fountain pen or pencil. After Herman explained this Joel noticed for the first time some boys had gold-plated fountain pens – usually engraved – which were a form of status symbol. Joel's parents thoughtfully providing him with a biro, had driven yet another stake into a heart wishing to be at a real school, with real friends.

The rest of the day passed without any further embarrassment but if there were any doubts about Joel coming into conflict with Dinosaur, they were dispelled by the end of that first day. Everybody had to be marked out at the end of school. The boys had to return to their form rooms and the form teacher would take the register again to make sure nobody had sneaked off. The boys were waiting for Dinosaur to appear from his last class and the chairs were all put on top of the desks to make it easier for the caretaker to sweep up. As they waited "Buster' Greene, a big lumbering day-boy prole, approached Joel.
"You know when you cough you expel germs at thirty miles per hour" he said then promptly coughed into Joel's face from barely a foot away.

Joel hit the bigger boy hard and he fell back knocking a desk and chair over. It had a domino effect as a whole row of desks and chairs tumbled over. Dinosaur had just rounded the corner to see Joel punch Buster and the ensuing chaos. The desks and chairs were picked up and registration taken. Joel was told to remain behind when the other boys filtered out of the classroom. Dinosaur led Joel off to his study in silence. Joel noticed immediately the selection of canes in an umbrella holder.
"Bend over the chair boy" Dinosaur ordered.

Joel bent over, realising for the first time he was about to be caned. There didn't seem to be anything he could do and Joel braced himself. Dinosaur raised his arm and brought the cane down with a stinging lash.
"Ow!" he howled and bit his tongue.

As Joel's first caning he was thankful he only received four strokes. It was enough to take the scabs off and Joel felt the blood seeping into his briefs. All Joel's white briefs now had blood-stains that just wouldn't wash out. Changing for rugby, a day-boy noticed the stains.
"Look everyone Phillips has crapped himself"

Of course everybody laughed and some even believed it. The day-boys didn't know about what Harris had done. Otherwise the first week had gone on with no further mishaps and Joel had settled into the school routine. He was a 'good egg', according to the Sheps for not reporting Harris, but they would be gone soon and Joel's classmates weren't of the same opinion. Most were of the opinion Joel was an intrusive oik that simply had no place at Forester. Lessons were pretty mundane but the atmosphere was very formal and even coughing in class could bring the wrath of a teacher down on a boy. In spite of the strict regime, it was hard as a first year to get into too much trouble.

After the initial flurry of activity things quietened down a little. Joel found himself ill-equipped for the new school. Pens, rulers, slide rules, calculators, protractors, compasses, and all manner of wonderful things were produced from the briefcases of boys. All Joel had was a pencil, and the fountain pen Herman had given him. It was a little fortunate really because he didn't even have a briefcase and carrying his school equipment round in a plastic bag would have brought more derision regarding Joel's financial status. There were other differences as well. Almost every boy at Forester had some basic knowledge of languages and sciences, but the nuns at Joel's Catholic primary school just taught the three R's as they were termed, Reading, 'Riting and 'Rithmetic. It did put a question mark against Joel's reason for actually being at the school.

In his first week Joel had managed to get on the wrong side of two of the worst bullies and the teacher who had most influence over him. Already Joel was becoming increasingly isolated, it was only the beginning. With the term gaining momentum Joel's impoverished background was put to the back of his mind. The lessons were nothing like he was used to but he excelled in Maths. The village accent damaged his English a little but he was good at spelling. His best asset was his retentive memory which helped in many subjects. Joel's thirst for knowledge seemed unquenchable and he was curious about everything.

The boarders made up one third of the school and generally had the wealthiest parents. They were quick to brag about the wealth and assets of their parents. Joel wasn't ashamed of his background and readily told how his father had been a coal-miner and was now a merchant seaman. He was largely ridiculed. Joel's blood boiled and he wanted to lash out, but the jeers were so widespread he had to ignore them or fight everyone.
"No wonder he's so poor" Joel heard a boy say as he turned away.

Home life had prepared Joel well for adversity on the surface, but no longer did he have the privacy of his bedroom to shed his tears. Instead Joel got rid of his frustrations on the rugby field. It was rugby season and Joel was showing a lot of promise. His junior blue belt at judo enabled Joel to bring down a much bigger opponent whom many of the other boys were afraid to tackle. It was just a matter of using a boy's momentum against him and nothing brave. Joel's apparent fearlessness did impress his peers who little realised his enthusiasm was borne of anger directed towards them.

Herman became a little distant. Joel put it down to the influence of Dinosaur, he seemed to have a hold over the boy. Dinosaur coached the first and second years for rugby but his selections for the school team were based on personal favouritism not ability. As a result the teams were underachieving. Through the rugby Joel began to gradually claw his way back into Dinosaur's good books, but there was no such luck with the bullies. Joel had set out his stall from day one and bullies tend not to forgive nor forget.

Most of the boarders left Joel alone because of the incident with Harris, they knew he wasn't a push-over. To the day-boys he was fair game, especially as he hadn't begun his growth spurts and was smaller than average in stature. Joel wasn't the most imposing boy and ended up fighting on numerous occasions, before the boys began to realise it was a fruitless pursuit. Eventually they left him alone but not until he had visited Dinosaur's study on several occasions. Dinosaur always spoke to Joel nicely after the beating and he thought about joining the photography club next term just to get the teacher off his back.

Harris was a problem. It was all too easy to get Joel alone as he had no friends, and a constant game of cat and mouse was in play. Dixon was like a guardian angel and watched out for Joel. A couple of times he had suddenly appeared when Harris and his cronies had cornered Joel. Herman was still the best friend Joel had, even though they didn't speak so much now. He still stood beside Joel when Harris was prowling.

Maybe Joel have joined Kramer's little group but he didn't like the way they were with other boys. It bordered on bullying and Kramer himself was usually behind it. Joel thought how the boys of the village would soon quieten them down. Herman became even more subdued as the term wore on and Joel's over-riding memory of that first term was a feeling of loneliness. He had been separated from friends and family and thrust amongst three hundred boys, all seeming to hate him. Joel was homesick and feeling low, things weren't going to get any better. At least it would be Christmas soon meaning three weeks at home, with real friends, and normal people.

Joel felt very much like he was a square peg in a round hole. He had been looking forward to an all boys school, at eleven years old girls were still just a nuisance, apart from Jodie of course. These boys were strange though, nothing like any boy from the village.